Dear Son: Life Isn't Fair. Here's How You Deal With It.

Life Isn't Fair Get Over It
Life Isn't Fair Get Over It

"That's not fair!" I hear it all the time and I'm sure, if you're a parent, you do too. I don't mean for this Dear Son post to sound pessimistic or overly harsh, but life isn't always fair. If you go through life with a chip on your shoulder every time you're wronged you're going to live one miserable, disappointed life.

How does one overcome the "life isn't fair" mentality, though? I mean, it's easy to get caught up in all of our so-called problems. Life isn't easy; I'm not saying it is. But some perspective is required on occassion to make sure we keep our heads on straight.

How do you define "dad"?

Google says that "dad" and "father" are the same.

I respectfully disagree. Here's our new definition of dad and why we think the words are not the same.

Learn to appreciate what you have.

...because not everyone has it as "bad" as you.

Dear Son:

Tomorrow is Memorial Day, 2019, so I'm taking just a moment to reflect on what this US holiday really means.

Memorial Day is an American holiday, observed on the last Monday of May, honoring the men and women who died while serving in the U.S. military.

For most, Memorial Day is just another 3-day weekend, and the real meaning of the holiday is lost. I don't want that to be the case for you.

And when I hear you regularly exclaiming to me that "that's not fair!" it makes me realize it's up to me to teach you about fairness and provide some perspective.

So what does "fair" even mean? Does fair mean equal? Are we all equal? We say we are, and we act like we are, but we're not, really.

Equal rights?

Equal pay?

Equal opportunity?

Life isn't fair, and I think it's time to acknowlege that, as an individual. You will not have the same opportunities in life as others. Some may have more, others will have far less.

Some children start out their lives in a disadvantage - social, economic, even physical. I work for a children's hospital and I see it almost every day.

How is it "fair" that a baby could be born 3 months premature? Or that a 3 year old is diagnosed with a brain tumor?

It's important that when we start to complain about the injustices against us in life, that we realize it's not really about us and there are plenty of people much worse off out there than us.

What if, instead of playing the victim, we decided to reach out and help someone worse off than us? I wonder what that could do to "fairness" in the world?

Check out the full series of posts.

Dear Son: A Blog Post Series

Read more of our "Dear Son" letters from Dad to son.

What do you think? How do you feel when your kids exclaim that something isn't "fair"?

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